The world needs dreamers...

The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do. - Sarah Ban Breathnach

I have big dreams.  Always have.  But I am often disappointed when those dreams or more often goals are not achieved.  It seems like ever school year I have a goal for myself.  Sometimes it gets accomplished, sometimes...well, it doesn't.  But this year I have decided to start early.  And to be honest, this is going to be a tough one...

This picture sums up me.  I don't do mornings.  I hate mornings.  I am grumpy and moody and I was once called Oscar the Grouch.  Don't be surprised if I moan or grunt when you say 'Good Morning!'  I am not chipper in the mornings and it drives me crazy that there are people who are.  Unfortunately my daughter (God, bless her soul), is a morning person.  I like mornings when they start later...much later.

So as I am planning our 2011-2012 school year, I have decided that I want to get up earlier.  Start school earlier so we can end earlier and either 1.) We can both have our respective personal times, 2.) I can accomplish more cleaning, or 3.) We can spend more fun time together.  And I have begun the journey to that goal.  

So all this week I have been working towards that goal.  That hour that I need to wake up has now been set.  I have two alarms set, one on my alarm clock for 8:30AM and a back-up alarm that I stick under my pillow for 8:45AM.  So far it has been working.  Once I get up, I find breakfast, shower, get dressed and go to Facebook.  I am trying to limit my time on Facebook to only an hour or so a day.  That dang thing is addictive!!!  But ladies and gents, I think I might just be able to pull this one off!

Every day this week, I have been getting up at 8:30AM or a little earlier.  I feel rested, and energized.  I am happy (or at least after I have had my hour to myself).  I have decided not only to be a dreamer but to be a doer.  A doer who accomplishes those goals I set for myself and for my family.  (And to finish school no later than 1:00PM!)

Homeschool planning...

Does homeschooling ever frighten you? As in, do you ever worry

that your kids might not know it all when you’re done?

First and foremost, yes and secondly define "know it all." 

I need to give you a little background on our homeschooling adventure.  My first mistake when we started homeschooling was to read homeschool blogs.  You know the ones.  The ones that talk about how much of a breeze it is and how you will love it.  Believe me when I say they are full of it.  It's not all rainbows and unicorns that most of them show. It is not a walk in the park. They lie and that is why I panic.  I stress.  A lot! 

I looked to them for advice on how I can make our homeschool adventurous and fun and easy, but instead, I found myself comparing myself (and my child) to them.  That is the absolute worst thing you can do to you (and your child)!

I also found I compared my child to her public school friends (and sometimes still do).  I see the things that are being taught and think, "Oh, my gosh!  We haven't even covered that yet!  We are so behind."  But then I think of the public schools and how everything is taught one way and sometimes that one child is left behind to fend for themselves and possibly never learning or understanding what was taught.  I am afraid that would be my daughter. 

While I often struggle with the concept of not worrying if my child is up to speed on each and every subject, my husband rests assured that the she understand the concepts I am teaching her. We homeschool and because that is what we think is right for our child.  We learn different things at different paces and well, we are able to spend the time that is needed for her to understand.  Sure she may not be moving ahead as quickly as some of her public school friends - no big deal.  I also have to remember that she is having fun learning and that is what matters.  If you have fun learning, you will learn and remember.

I frequently receive comments about how much patience I must have - "I could never do that with my child."  What they don't see are the days we are both at our wits end, both in tears, and I am ready to throw in the towel.  Those days where I am so frustrated that she is just not getting it and I don't know why.  Those days where it should take one lesson to grasp concept but for some reason it just hasn't clicked and we are now working on day two or three of the same lesson.  It's like we are on a treadmill - not going anywhere.

She was advanced in all areas but reading?  Forget it.  We’d spend countless hours reading and pointing out words but nothing.  While kids her age (or younger) were already reading, she showed no interest and I was devastated.  People would tell me "She'll learn when she's ready" but that wasn't good enough.  We all have hopes and dreams for our children.  We dream for the day when they can accomplish the task without the tears and struggles.  We frequently have hurdles and speed bumps we must tackle on a weekly (or daily) basis.  Then something happened.  Something just clicked and we made a breakthrough. I don't know what, but it did. 

She went from not being able to read to reading picture books overnight.  I wanted her to love reading as much as my husband and I do but I was convinced the entire situation was doomed.  I wasn't able to see the small progress she was making simply because I wanted what I wanted. 

I was finally able to see what my husband had been trying to tell me for months.  Our struggling reader was no longer struggling.  All those trials and hurdles I'd climbed with her had paid off. 

There are times that I don't see the accomplishments we are making but others - especially my husband - do.  Sometimes she surprises me when something is asked and I think I will have to walk her through the problem and she just spits out the answer. 

So the answer is yes, I worry.  In fact, I am almost positive that at one time or another all homeschool families worry about their child(ren).  It is just one of those fates homeschool Moms (and Dads) are doomed for.  I often hold my breath and try really, really hard not to panic and sometimes I just need that one person to calm me down and bring me back to reality.

I have to say I am grateful for my husband.  He grounds me.  He brings me back to reality.  I'm grateful to my daughter who amazes me and reminds me that the struggles are worth it.  It's why we, as homeschoolers, seem to find ourselves saying, "Don't worry, they'll be fine!"  As much as we say it to others is as often as we need to hear it ourselves.

My daughter may not be learning the same stuff at the same time as public school students (who you are comparing my child to) but she is learning.  Am I concerned?  Nope.  She'll be fine!   

The Return of Mama...

Kira and I flew back on Friday (I think it was Friday...yep, it was Friday) after 5 weeks of visiting family and friends back in Missouri.  The trip was great but as long as it was, it seemed so short.  There were many people we just didn't get to see.  You don't realize how hard it is to see all the family and then squeeze a few friends in there and a special trip just for Kira and I.  Well, it wasn't just for Kira and I but it was a kid friendly trip.  Kira went on her FIRST ever camping and float trip, which was a complete success and hopefully, the group we went with will choose to plan another.  If not, we may just have to plan our own.  It was that much of a success!  I am already excited!

The days are all sort of a blur while we were there, but also since we have returned.  I slept all of Saturday and I mean ALL of Saturday.  Sunday, well, to be honest.  I don't remember Sunday.  LOL  Monday, Kira went with Kevin to the office and then to her BFFs house for a two day sleepover and I had the house to myself!  Yep, all to myself!  (Doesn't happen often.)  And what did I do?  NOTHING!!  I really should have done something but well, I did nothing and if felt good.  I put my feet up on the coffee table, grabbed a soda, my laptop, and listened to a new station I added on Pandora.  I added a song I heard while in Missouri by Jaron and the Long Road to Love.  It was called 'That's Beautiful to Me.' I heard it on the radio while driving back from Kirksville and I just couldn't get it out of my head.  I don't listen to country, but that was the only station I could get.  Long story short, I added it to a Pandora playlist, and it seemed like every couple of songs were sappy, romantic, beautiful songs.  Songs that made me feel good inside, as if the writer or singer was singing to me.  I know stupid right?  Well, it did, and it felt great.  Now this same artist sang a song called 'Pray for You' which is absolutely hilarious.  Watch the link!

So what did I do on Tuesday?  Since I felt so good on Monday, I decided to watch a sappy, romantic comedy.  It wasn't sappy or romantic, but a comedy.  I think it was misguided, but it was semi-funny, but I wouldn't have paid to see it.  Oh, it was called, 'The Six Wives of Henry Lafey' starring Tim Allen.  Yep, Tim the Toolman Taylor.  Unfortunately the evening took a left turn and decided to throw me a curve ball - Mr Migraine.  What happened to Mr Romantic, I don't know, but Mr Migraine took the reins and I took a nice HOT bubble bath (which seems to help) and went straight to bed.

I had a dream that swept me off my feet last night and probably is what continued my sappy mood today.  It was like a movie scene.  Absolutely breathtaking (men out there take notes!)

I was on a beach in the Keys.  I was walking along the waters edge barefoot with the the waves hitting my feet and the sand swurling around them.  I was all alone and just in one of those ho-hum moods.  The mood was full and the stars were bright.  It reminded me of being in Missouri and laying out in my Grandpa's field (although it is in Kansas, well never mind).  Anyway, it was beautiful.  Breathtaking.  Romantic.  Now this is where I knew it was a dream...I was wearing this beautiful white dress.  For those of you who know me well, know that I do not like to wear dresses.  But this was a dress I have been looking at every year when I go to the Keys.  I am in love with it, but not ready to pay the price.  Well, maybe this year I will.

Anyway, back to the dream...I could feel the sand beneath my feet and the waves slowly rolling over my toes.  The sound of the waves refreshing.  It was so relaxing.  Calm.  I remember taking a deep breath and could feel the cool, salty air filling my lungs.  It was as if I was really there, but then again aren't we?  Then all of a sudden this strong arm wraps around me, followed by a kiss on the neck, and me swooped up into the arms of a man.  (Which I assume is my husband!)

Yep, I think I have officially watched way too many sappy romantic movies!  As we all know in our dreams things go from one extreme to the next and I was in the water.  I do not like water that much.  Well, I like it, but I don't.  You see when I was a child, I was pushed off of a high dive and now, I don't like to go into water above my neck.  So this mystical romantic man takes me into the water.  My heart is racing, so I cling to him.  I was told to hold on, 'I won't let you go.  Trust me' and I did.  Well, this part I am sure this part was not my husband considering he is not a good swimmer and is not an outdoorsy person.

My dream takes me back to the beach where my dream man has a blanket all laid out and we snuggle until the sun rises.  Honey, if you are reading this...take notes!

So, today was another romantic, heart fluttery, day.  I really should have done something productive today.  Well, I guess I did.  I vacuumed and hung up my old curtains.  Curtains that make the room feel springy.  My upbeat mood made my day, upbeat too.  I just wanted to sing and dance and have fun.

As I sit here, something my Grandmother told me comes to mind.  'Always toward absent lovers love's tide stronger flows.'  I don't know who said it, but I am sure if I Wiki it, will come up with this very inspirational guy.  It's always a guy.  This was probably the original saying which inspired the modern saying 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder.'

Considering my romantic feelings, I posted on Facebook a request for romantic movies, romantic comedies, tear-jerkers, I just wanted something romantic.  I had a number of great suggestions, but unfortunately only a few were in my DVD collection or on the instant watch option on Netflix.  Note to self:  MORE ROMANTIC MOVIES.

I have decided that this will be romance week.  I only have a few days left, but I am sure in my collection of movies I will find at least 3 more romantic movies.  PS I Love You (Gerard Butler) is on the top of the list.  I might watch it tomorrow.  I have this thing for men with accents - specifically from Scotland or Ireland.  I tell Kevin that's why I married him.  He can do a great British accent...another fav of mine.

So my dear friends...I love you till the end.