How To Talk To Your Daughter

My daughter is growing up; to fast for my liking.  Changes are beginning to happen before my very eyes and I know deep down inside that my little girl is growing up.  Today on Facebook a friend posted a link called "How to talk to your daughter about her body."  It's too good not to repost so I am not just for you, but for me.  This is like my little archive of things.

How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.

Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.

If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:

“You look so healthy!” is a great one.

Or how about, “you’re looking so strong.”

“I can see how happy you are – you’re glowing.”

Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.

Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.

Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.

Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.

Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.

Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.

Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.

Teach your daughter how to cook kale. 

Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.

Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.

Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.

Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.

Time for school...for me!

How many of you have your email bursting at the seems with emails you have saved? Well, mine is and so in January I decided assist it with it's exceptional weight. While cleaning out my bursting at the seams email box, I came across this email from a friend and former professor asking when I was going to finish my bachelor's degree.  I had to laugh because every now and then finishing my degree has crossed my mind.  Unfortunately the last time I looked into finishing, the classes I needed weren't offered online.  So curious as always, I decided to send an email.  Honestly, I was expecting the same response but his wife (also one of my professors and is the head of the department) informed me that after looking at my transcript I only need 4 classes!  Four of the most time consuming classes I think I ever will tackle but it's worth it right?  I mean, a degree in Crisis and Disaster Management could get me a job ANYWHERE!

There are a few things that are holding me back.  

• My father-in-law diagnosed with Alzheimer's - This isn't really a big thing but it is something that weighs on me.  I want to be able to fly back to help my mother-in-law if needed and that will require Kira and I to travel. 
• Homeschooling - I have been out of school since 2003/2004.  I had a child but I was able to handle school.  Now I am educating my daughter.  She depends on me and I must make her a priority.  We have a schedule that is working and I am torn between what to do.  If I do make the decision to go back to school, our schedule will have to be more rigid.  I will have to stick to my guns.  
• Money - I'm not sure if we can afford it right now.  I will definitely have to sit down with the hubby and see if it is in our budget.
• My seizures and memory loss - Currently they are "under control" but having one and losing my short term memory scares me.  I am afraid that I will have to back to reread some of the most boring textbooks that are known to man just because I don't remember them.  

And last but not least, the biggest one...

• I'm scared - I mean, I'm really, really scared.  Remember I have been out of school since 2003/2004 and the last classes I took happened before I had all my seizures and memory loss.  I don't want to fail.  I want to show my daughter that as long as I put my mind to it, I can do it and so can she.  

I'm excited on one hand, but scared on another.  Look forward to updates soon!

Posts Gone Missing...

It's like Girls Gone Wild without the "Wild" or the "Girls".  Sorry that sounded so much better in my head!  I thought I was updating my blog from my phone and tablet but apparently not.  Now the question is what happened to my posts?  My pictures?  Where did they go?

Let's see if I can remember what has happened since my first post of the year...

Back in November, November 24 to be exact, I lost my voice.  It happened while we were on Thanksgiving vacation in Missouri.  I didn't yell until I lost my voice, there wasn't any trauma, a cold or flu...it just left.  This happened when I was in high school too but only for a couple of days at a time and about 3 or 4 times out of the year.  I can handle a few days and I know my family can too but tomorrow will mark Day 60!!  I can whisper so I am not exactly quiet but even that is very weak sometimes.  To get someone's attention (family) I tend to whistle or clap.  For the furry family members I throw things.  No not sharp things!!  Usually just an empty soda bottle or pillow, but sometimes I do throw a capped pen or permanent marker.  

The longer this continues, the more serious I am about learning American Sign Language (ASL).  I found a couple websites that give you direct instructions, with video on how to do each "word".  What I didn't know is that they don't sign each word.  It is more of a broken speech.  Rosetta Stone also has a program and then on top of that I have met two people who know sign language and have offered to help with some "lessons" and another friend is taking a college ASL class!  You may think I am joking, but I am beyond the joking phase.

Being unable to communicate vocally is actually very difficult and strains even the best relationship.  I have discovered that homeschooling is actually quite difficult. Both the teacher and the student's tempers seem to flare.  One day was especially bad...

Even Furby was in a bad mood!  Nothing seemed to ease up so we made cookies, well...why waste all that time waiting for the cookies to bake when you can just eat the cookie dough?  Sometimes cookie dough is just not meant to be cookies!

Since I have been so lazy, attempting to talk when you have no voice is tiring, I have been doing a lot of reading (8 books so far this year!) and my Christmas tree is still up.  I did however put away all of my other Christmas knick-knacks, bobbles and decorations.  The ornaments and lights are off the tree, the tree just needs to be put back into the box and then carted off to storage.

So how is school going (without a voice)?  Well, it's going.  Not as smoothly as I would like but it's going.  Last week Kira informed me that I was behind in grading her math. *sigh* Unlike most kids she wants to know what her grade is.  I didn't plan on grading papers but since her public school friends get their papers graded she wants hers graded as well.  I wanted to reply with "you are behind in your reading comprehension", but decided to keep the peace.  I am proud to announce that her year-to-date math grade is a 97% and her language is at a 89%.  I don't keep grades on her science and social studies.  She has completed her cursive workbooks and it is surprisingly neat!  We still need to work on it as this cursive book did NOT include capital letters...IDK.

My accomplishments?  Yep, I am still working on the kitchen.  I have managed to keep the kitchen table cleaned off for more than a week.  It still needs to be sanded and a coat polyethylene but let's just work at keeping it cleaned off first.  I am still in the decluttering phase and I think the kitchen may have to carry over into February.  I would like a little more input from my hubby on to what stays and what goes.

3 books?  Yep, I have read those and 5 more.  Grand total of 8 books and counting.  I am also still knitting.  I haven't been able to master the purl stitch although I think I am making a break through.  I'll post pictures of what I accomplished tomorrow...I promise!  Really I do!!
 

Out with the Old, In with the New

Each year so many people make "New Year's Resolutions" and this year is no different.  From eating healthier and/or exercising more to quitting smoking or drinking, spending more time with family and friends (for some, that is a recipe for drinking, smoking or eating more!) to learning something new.  A New Year's Resolutions is a personal "commitment" a person makes to a project, goal or "reforming habit."

Some manage to accomplish that resolution and others such as myself are professionals at crashing head first.  As much as I want my home to look like those on HGTV, I am not Martha Stewart or Candice Olsen.  I would love to organize my home with a place for everything and everything in it's place, but I am pretty sure it won't happen.  #1.) I have a husband. #2.) I have a daughter (who's 10) and well neither one are trained well in putting things away.  And #3.) We live here!  I would really like to see those shows after about 6 months to a year and see how organized and spotless it is.  Instead of a resolution, I have made a To-Do List.  Each month I will have a mission and thanks to Pintrest and it's infinite wisdom, I already have a growing list of things I want "to-do".

So what are my challenges?

For the month of January, I am organizing my kitchen.  Our kitchen is used not only for cooking and eating but also for schooling and there just isn't enough room.  I have decided to go through my cabinets and donate any duplicate items, items I will never use or items I have never used (and probably never will!) Those items can take up residence in someone else's kitchen. 

Over Christmas break the hubs and I have encouraged our daughter to go through her toys and knick-knacks and donate.  I see my donations as encouragement for my child.  With her a lot of toys she is able to give to a co-worker's child or her cousins.  She made the comment the other day that if she gives them to her cousins the toys "will be handed down through the generations...." I informed her probably not, but then right now I don't care how she sees it just as long as she is getting the excess out of her room.

I know there are some things that I haven't used and probably will never use but they hold a special place in our home.  I have silverware that was my great grandmother's, you know that stuff you have to shine?  Or a crystal dish that I received as a wedding gift.  Neither of which will I probably ever use, but they are sentimental.  Either way, I am sure there will be some exceptions to the rule.  Maybe, just maybe, I will find that rolling pin that has gone missing.  I still think it is in storage, but for all I know I could have donated it!

I am also going to start knitting.  While perusing Pintrest I kept coming up with all these crafts that involved sewing or knitting.  I have had a sewing machine for years and have managed a blanket and a child's dress.  The rest of the time it has lived in the closet; except when my mother-in-law comes to visit.  Then it is well used!  Since we were traveling to MO to visit family and friends for Thanksgiving, a dear friend showed me her current knitting project.  I mentioned I was thinking about learning and received a crash course before I left.

And so the "learn to do something new" resolution happened.  I have begun to knit.  YouTube has some great how-to videos which were able to refresh my memory again and again.  So far I can long-tail cast on and do the knit stitch.  I decided to put it down for a couple of days to ensure that when I picked it back up again I didn't have to go back to YouTube for a refresher course (and also to give my poor fingertips a break).  I'm going to go a little further with the knit stitch and then bind off, start a new "project" and learn the purl stitch.  I really need to get me another set of knitting needles, but I want to make sure I am going to follow through.  Oh, heck.  I might just do that with some of my left over Christmas money.  Tomorrow I will take a picture of my current knit work.  It's nothing really except a square, but to my daughter it is a masterpiece! (Actually, I am quite proud of myself!)

I intend to post weekly of my accomplishments (and of my road blocks).  If for some reason I don't post, if you are following this send me a message!  

January - Organize the kitchen, continue knitting, read at least 3 books.