Today is a fantastic day for me and although uber fantastic it has been very emotional. Not emotional bad, although there have been a few tears here and there, but all so very good. Make sure you are sitting down...
Today is my one year anniversary from my last seizure!
This is no April Fool's joke! For those of you who have been with me from the very beginning this has been a very rough road resulting in black eyes, broken noses, injured fingers, many bumps, bruises and scrapes, and the absolute worst -- memory loss. We knew that the time would come (or so we prayed) that there would be a time I would be 'seizure free.' Although I will never be 'seizure free' I have been given many hurdles to jump -- some resulting in a face plant on the floor -- but I have conquered!
The biggest problem is the memory loss. In 2004, while attempting a medication change, I had 3 seizures in a 9 hr period resulting in an estimated 5-8 yrs of memory loss. We knew there was memory loss but the extent was not determined until a couple of days after being released from the hospital when I flew to Missouri for my brother's high school graduation. Teachers, relatives, people I went to school with, to church with or just people who lived in my town and the surrounding area were strangers. I didn't recognize their face, their voice, or both! I didn't even know where I lived other than in Florida. 'Friends' would come up to me asking how life in Florida was and I would tell them everything was great. Which until my seizures it was. After they would walk off I would find myself turning to my husband asking who they were. Of course he knew very few from my hometown, and he was as clueless as I.
Through the years, bits and pieces have come back. I am sure that there is much to remember but it is hard to say if I remember it all or because I don't know what I am missing. That sounds really strange but I don't know how else to phrase it. It has been extremely frustrating. While I was visiting I woke my husband to tell him I knew where Dunkin Donuts was -- to me that was a huge accomplishment since it was in the process of being built and only a block away from my home. My husband although happy for me told me to go back to sleep. LOL
People often ask if there is anything that I notice since I was diagnosed with seizures. Well, other than living in Lowther Penitentiary for 2+ years, depending on others to chauffeur and supervise me as if I were a child -- no nothing that I am aware of. At first, I hated having to depend on others. Now that I have had 2+ years to do so, I am finding it hard to become independent again. I have discovered that I tend to use smaller words when writing or speaking, and frequently ask questions as to meanings of words or for a word that I am trying to use in a sentence.
My strength through the entire thing is Kevin and Kira. Both have stood by my side, picked me up when I was down (literally). Kevin's office has been fantastic and when my seizures were at their worst, he was able to work from home on some days. My doctor, Dr. Eduardo Locatelli has saved me! Due to the type of seizures I will be on medication the rest of my life. Yet that wonderful man found the magical concoction that my brain so desperately needed. We have remained positive throughout, although some days were very rough emotionally and physically.
To my friends and family -- For your love, support and prayers through the last 8 years, thank you!
